Because every now and then a string of comments or a topic I write about forces me to take a long hard look in the mirror. My post from Monday and yesterday and the ensuing comment threads did just that. After the past couple of days, I am more convinced that Bloom was right that stepping back and looking at our own indignation can be the beginning of true knowledge. For me, the knowledge nugget that came back again is: the behavior/attitudes which really gets under my skin I find I myself am most guilty of committing or exhibiting. In other words, that which I most despise in others, I am often most guilty of myself. CS Lewis said it this way when discussing PRIDE:
“There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others.” [italics added for emphasis]
Perhaps the most poingnant and sad case of this is where abuse takes place. I have heard and witnessed several examples of the hatred or feelings of betrayal an abused expresses regarding their particular abuser, and then as the numbers suggest, these abused become the abusers and continue the cycle of violence. They become the very thing they once were indignant about.
For me the “sin” I so dislike in others is the rush to assume intent on the part of another. I can’t stand when some one makes some judgement about how self righteous a post or comment of mine may have been when they know absolutely nothing about me, my heart, my intent, etc.. And yet as I sit here writing this post, I can name time after time, when I have been guilty of exactly such a crime. My natural reaction is to strike back with equal or increased wrath and judgement in response to one who has inappropriately judged me.
Blogging has forced me to confront this incongruous behavior, and while I have by no means eliminated the tendency, I believe progress is in the works.
So today I say “thank you” to all those who take the time to post, whether that comment derides or applauds any particular post. You’ve made me think a little deeper and be a little better.