Dear Joseph,
Being a father is one of the hardest and yet most rewarding things I have ever done. I look forward to the day when you get to be a dad. One of the unanticipated benefits of being a father has been my gaining a greater appreciation for my own dad.
I wish I could say that I had a great relationship with my dad, but that wouldn’t be totally true. When I was a teenager, my dad handled a few defining situations that hurt me in a way in which I struggled to forgive him. Over time, I allowed that hurt to create a significant wedge between u,s and I in turn did and said hurtful things. The hurt I felt eventually turned into anger; an anger that took a toll on not only my relationship with my dad, but with my other Father as well. Fortunately God has blessed me with people (most importantly your mom), experiences, and two great sons to help me work through that anger and gain a renewed love and appreciation for my dad (your Grandpa Gaylord).
I guess in life’s way of poetic justice, you share one of my greatest strengths and weaknesses: a very strong will. That stubborn will has gotten me through some very challenging times, but it is also the Achilles heel that kept me from forgiving my dad. As I see that strong will in you, I worry. It is not that I don’t think you will become a great man, but mostly because I hope I can help you avoid some of the bad mistakes I have made in my life because I wasn’t able to check that stubbornness. That fear of following in my “stubborn” footsteps is one of the reasons I focus on the things that I do with you. You and I have already had a number of battles of will, and I don’t expect that they’ll be over any time soon. My hope is that over time I can help you be a little bit better than I was – that you can find the ability to yield.
I guess the one great comfort I have is that we both share a perfect Father, who can make up for my shortcomings and yours as well. While there have been and will still be times my behavior does not warrant your “honor,” I hope you will remember He is always worthy and deserving of it. As I look back at my own life, I see the wisdom in his paths and see the loving direction (which sometimes I didn’t want) guiding my life to a much better place.
As you continue to read these letters, I hope they will help you better understand me, and as a result you will better understand my actions. It is an honor to be your father.
Love, Dad
Rule 2: When you speak of God or His attributes, do your best to be respectful and thoughtful. Honor and obey your mother and father, even if they may not seem worthy of your honor.
